nWhy not us?
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nI used to wander through the empty rooms of our house and try to imaginenwhat little souls would fill those spaces. My husband and I had been married fornfive years and despite hoping to start our family, most of the bedrooms in ournnew home remained empty. As we prayed and waited, I painted furniture andnlovingly hung tiny baby items in the nursery. When that room was complete, Infilled the next room with toddler toys and clothes and continued to hold on to thendream of one day having little ones filling the quiet corners of our home.
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nSomewhere along the way, our prayers began to change from asking thenLord to give us children to asking Him to bring us the children who needed us thenmost, and praying He would equip us to meet their needs. The seeds ofnadoption, which had been planted in our hearts years ago, were beginning tonbloom. We completed our adoption home study and though we were prepared fornanother season of waiting, our children like to surprise us and each one came tonus when we were least expecting them.
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nWe now have four children, all of whom were adopted, and they all havenspecial needs. Our oldest son was recently diagnosed with Autism SpectrumnDisorder and our three younger children all have Down syndrome (Trisomy 21).nOur youngest child has Mosaic Down syndrome, which is where only a smallnpercentage of his cells contain Trisomy 21 and most of his cells have a typicalnnumber of chromosomes.
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nJust a few weeks after our home study was approved, we were matchednwith our oldest son. He was almost four years old, and a diagnosis had not yetnbeen completed. We had less than a day to prepare for his arrival. In the world ofnfoster care, such short notice may happen frequently. However, this was anprivate adoption where adoptive parents often rush through their paperwork at anfrantic pace only to be met by long periods of waiting. We crash-landed intonparenting and the first year was challenging but also held many times of joy.nAfter our son had been with us for two years and we were just beginningnto talk about adopting again, our adoption agency called to ask if we wouldnconsider adopting a baby girl who was going to be born and had Downnsyndrome. They explained that our family was the only one who had markedn“yes” next to Down syndrome. We were so excited to submit our profile and letternto her birth parents. One week later we met them and our baby girl was born thenvery next morning! She had an extended NICU stay, several surgeries, and somencomplications. We were thrilled (and terrified) once she was finally cleared to gonhome.
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nAdopting our daughter also opened our eyes to just how big the need isnfor families willing to open their hearts and their homes to children with Downnsyndrome. There are hundreds of children with Down syndrome worldwide whonare waiting for a forever family. When we were ready to adopt again, we didn’tneven have to think about it. We just knew our next child would also have Downnsyndrome.n
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Six months after joining the registry of adoptive families for the NDSANn(National Down syndrome Adoption Network) we were matched with our son. Henwas born several states away, and after a brief stay in the NICU, he wasndischarged from the hospital. We spend the next week enjoying our vacationnhome-away-from-home while we waited for the ICPC (Interstate Compact on thenPlacement of Children) to be completed so we could return home.nAlthough we thought our family was complete, the whispers on my heartnbegan to grow louder as I felt the Lord was about to do something amazing. AndnHe did. We recently welcomed another baby boy (our third child with Downnsyndrome) in a very unexpected open adoption placement. We had allowed ournhome study to expire and therefore were no longer on the NDSAN registry. Andnyet God made the path clear for his birth family to find us. Just four days afternmeeting his birth parents, they brought our son to our home and we welcomednhim (and them) into our family. All of our adoptions are open, but thenrelationships we hold with the birth families of each of our children are all unique.
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nOur family tree truly has become an orchard.
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We have been asked, “Why special needs?” My answer is, “Why not?”
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These babies needed a family just as much as any child being placed fornadoption. Our arms were empty. Our rooms remained empty. And there werenchildren who needed a family. Why not us? We said “yes” and allowed God to donthe rest.
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The Lord heard our cry and answered the prayers on our heart. But Henalso went way beyond that. The Lord brought us the children WE needed thenmost. And He did equip us to meet their needs. But He also used these preciousnsouls who now fill our once-empty bedrooms to change us. They have made usnstronger. They have changed the way we see the world and the people aroundnus. Our children have changed the way we do life. We are constantly learning asnwe go. We take life at a slower pace and enjoy the simple things in life. Wencelebrate not only each milestone, but also the effort going into every attemptnalong the way. Our children are our greatest blessings.
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nMy husband and I are not special, but we are willing and He made usnable. All around the world, across the country, spanning the state, and in our ownnneighborhoods are children who need a family. Special needs or not, children arenchildren and they need a family to cherish them just as they are, to cheer on theirnefforts and to celebrate their victories, to hold them in the hard and painful timesnand to let them explore the world around them.
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It’s not always easy, but– it's always worth it.
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by: Lisa Miller
