I really wanted to get a foster child’s view on foster care and adoption and two people came to mind as I was trying to think about who to include in this blog! I won’t say their names for their privacy but they were two girls who had a huge impact on us as we worked in a group home after being married for a year! I will only be posting one girl’s answers for now and the other girl’s answers will be included in a future blog post. Anyway, here we were…Newlyweds working in a group home as parents who had never been parents before came with many challenges. 1st of all, we didn’t know what we were doing! Second, some of these kids were so close in age to us, especially now that I am looking back! No wonder they had a tough time listening to us (haha). However, even during the REALLY HARD days, I knew they were simply just hurting and so we did our best to love them as best as we knew how! I still hope and pray for all of the girls (and boys) that we had the opportunity to meet and love on during that season. I decided to ask a series of questions to 2 of the girls who used to live in the group home we worked in and I wanted to post the questions and answers below in hopes that this will encourage you that these kids DO NEED us. Even if they don’t act like it or say it out loud.
1. How did it feel for you to be in foster care?
I felt lost jumping from house to house. I didn’t know where I belonged, but I knew the people I lived with were more like friends. I longed for my biological parents even though I knew it probably wasn’t best.
2. What was the hardest thing for you being in foster care?
I was stereotyped. Like I couldn’t do certain things like college opportunities because I was a “foster child” or I was in foster care because I was “bad”.
3. What did you learn during that season of your life?
I learned how to live as an adult and not a child. I was forced to grow up really fast.
4. Why do you feel it’s important for people to foster or adopt?
They need you just as much as a biological children, if not more. At first it will be hard, especially if they are older but they need the love and security and guidance and stability! I think it’s important to adopt because I lived on that side and I know how it feels to see another child and parent have that bond (play in the yard together) yet there I was without that. I just had to pray it would work out and I would have that too.
5. What do you feel would help a child in foster care to succeed in life?
Knowing their resources (especially if they age out), the college help, the help from churches and organizations…etc. Also how to live life as an adult, such as bank accounts, buying a car and paying bills.
6. Why is it important for Christians and churches to be involved in foster care and adoption?
It helped me knowing I had at least Sunday and Wednesday to look forward to and have built relationships with my church friends and sometimes that’s all that kept me going!
7. What would you say to someone who can’t necessarily become a foster parent or adopt but would want to help in other ways? How could they help? What could they do?
Find a resource and donate, sponsor a child in some way, angel tree is a good way to sponsor a child around Christmas! You could become a mentor, guardian ad litem volunteer or become a visiting resource for a child. They can do the smallest thing and still mean the world to the child.
I do realize that every foster child’s answers would probably be different to these questions. And that is ok. This is just one girl’s answers and I pray more than anything that it would push people to LOVE the broken, the hurt & the fatherless.
